5 WAYS TO STOP YOUR KIDS FROM EATING MUD

“Geophagy” is the munching of mud, the devouring of dirt and the eating of earth. Birds do it, monkeys do it, even educated fleas do it; but WHYTF do our kids do it?! Some researchers think geophagy is simply a consequence of food shortage but they clearly have not witnessed our twins Pac-Man their way through aisles of food.

Our children are slowly turning into walking wormerys; vegetable seeds would probably take root and grow well on them. Stay tuned after this pic for 5 easy ways to stop your kids sucking on soil…

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  1. Don’t let them go outdoors ever again. Snap keys in locks and batten down hatches.

  2. Should they escape, match their feral-ness by eating all the mud before they get to it. In time, when they are teenagers with friends round, they’ll be thoroughly embarrassed by you, and should stop.

  3. Throw garden pot plants over the neighbours fence, even if visiting friends/family.

  4. Tarmac over plant beds. Portable asphalt compactors are coming down in price and National Trust sites/public parks are mostly unstaffed nowadays. Humans are too unobservant to notice anything unusual so redesign the land at your leisure.

  5. Don’t take me seriously.

To find this advice easily next time why not pin this image as a reminder.

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SMALLPRINT. There are obvious health risks in the consumption of soil that is contaminated by animal feces; in particular, helminth eggs, such as Ascaris, which can stay viable in the soil for years, can lead to helminth infections. Tetanus poses a further risk. Lead poisoning is also associated with soil ingestion. In other words, I need to try and crack this eating mud malarky for real!

 

 

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1 Comment

  1. Alex
    November 24, 2017 / 5:00 pm

    I will be honest, I ate a lot of mud as a child, but it didn’t stop there, I would often partake in a twig snack or two! Trying to stop my 2 year old is a whole other problem though she thinks finding wild mushrooms is good fun too!!!!

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